What Is Holding You Back?

Common disguises of fear

• Procrastination: the thing you keep almost starting

• Perfectionism: waiting until everything is exactly right before you begin

• Busyness: staying so full there is no space to hear what is underneath

• Over-researching: learning everything about the thing instead of doing the thing

• Minimising: telling yourself it does not really matter or it is not that important

• Self-sabotage: moving toward something and then pulling away just before it arrives

• Comparing: focusing on where others are instead of where you are going

• Chronic almost: always on the verge of the thing but never quite there

1.Is there something in your life right now that you keep not quite doing, not quite starting, or not quite finishing? Write it down as specifically as you can.

2.When you imagine taking the next step toward it, what is the first feeling or sensation that arrives in your body? Where do you feel it? Try to describe it in physical terms.

3.What does the fear or resistance tell you when you really listen to it? What is the story it is running?

4.How long have you been holding this particular thing in place? When did it start, as best as you can tell?

Common core beliefs underneath fear

• If I am seen fully, I will be rejected

• Wanting things leads to disappointment, so it is safer not to want

• I am not capable enough, qualified enough, or ready enough

• Something always goes wrong when things are going well

• Other people can have this but it is not for me

• If I succeed I will lose connection with the people I love

• I do not deserve this

• Being visible is dangerous

• Changing means leaving people behind

5.If you knew with complete certainty that this was going to work out, would you still be afraid? If yes, what is the fear actually about underneath the outcome?

6.Is this fear familiar? Does it show up in other areas of your life? Where have you felt it before?

7.What would you have to believe about yourself or the world for this resistance to make complete sense?

8.Whose voice does this fear sound like? Is it yours, or does it belong to someone else?

What staying stuck can protect

• We stay safe from the possibility of public failure or humiliation

• We keep our identity intact: who we are is familiar even if it is uncomfortable

• We avoid the grief of outgrowing relationships or roles that no longer fit

• We protect others from having to feel their own discomfort at our growth

• We keep a lid on desires that feel too large or too dangerous to admit to

• We avoid responsibility: if we never begin, we cannot be blamed for how it ends

9.What does staying where you are allow you to keep? What might you lose or have to face if you moved forward?

10.Is there a part of you that feels safer not changing? If you could speak to that part with kindness, what do you think it most needs to hear?

11.Who in your life might be affected if you moved through this fear? Is there anyone you are unconsciously protecting by staying stuck?

Place one hand on your chest and take three slow breaths. On each exhale, let your shoulders drop a little further. Notice what is present in your body right now without trying to change it. Give it thirty seconds, then continue.

12.After the short practice above, what did you notice? Did anything shift, soften or become a little clearer?

13.What would transmuting this fear feel like in your body? Not resolving it intellectually but actually releasing its hold. Try to describe it as a physical sensation or an image.

14.If this fear were an object, a colour, a texture or a shape, what would it be? Let the first thing that comes come, without editing it.

15.Is there anything this fear has taught you, even if the lesson was hard? Is there anything you would want to keep from it even as you release its grip?

16.What is the one thing you most want to clarify, shift or release in this area of your life?

17.Is there anything you have avoided writing down or looking at in this guide? What is it, even if you can only gesture toward it?

18.What would your life look like if this fear no longer had the same hold on you? Describe it in as much sensory detail as you can.

19.What is one small thing you could do before the call that would be a gentle act of movement toward what you want? It does not have to be significant. It just has to be real.

Bring whatever feels alive for you to the call. You do not have to share everything you have written. Trust that whatever surfaces is exactly what needs to be there. We will take it from there together.